Robert Penn Warrens All the Kings Men Essays -- Warren All Kings Me

Robert Penn Warren's All the King's Men â€Å"If mankind didn’t recollect that anything it would be entirely cheerful (44). Hence runs one of the early insights of Jack Burden, the hero of Robert Penn Warren’s All the King’s Men. All through the story, nonetheless, as Jack step by step makes him fully aware of the real factors of his own tendency and his reality, he understands that humankind can't overlook the past and endure. Man must recollect, yet in addition grasp the past, on the grounds that it shows him reality with regards to himself and empowers him to confront what's to come. As he comprehends the individuals throughout his life and their activities, Jack discovers that one can once in a while understand an occasion until that occasion has become a piece of the past, to be reproduced and in the long run comprehended in memory. T.S. Eliot communicates this thought in â€Å"The Dry Salvages†: â€Å"We had the experience however missed the importance,/And way to deal with the significance reestablishes the experience/In an alternate structure, past any significance/We can dole out to satisfaction (194). Just by intentionally reviewing the past would one be able to comprehend the supernatural and profound centrality of his encounters. Thus, Jack can't comprehend the decisive day of Willie Stark’s murder until â€Å"long after†¦when I had the option to accumulate the bits of the riddle up and set up them to see the example (Warren 407). The example of the past uncovers the example of fallen human instinct, in this way opening man’s eyes to his own indiscretion and empowering him to develop in intelligence. Man must recall his past, yet in addition decide to recollect it as it truly happenedâ€for, to again cite Eliot, â€Å"What may have been is a reflection (175). Fantasizing about a theoretical, admired past will never give achievement I... ...176). History gives a good and profound perspective for each new age. In All the King’s Men, Jack Burden the student of history finds that the past, really considered, doesn't bamboozle, nor do its clear object exercises lead men off track. As Jack replays in his memory the activities of the characters (counting himself) in an incredible show, he develops to comprehend the jobs played by those characters in his otherworldly turn of events, and to cherish them for their actual nature. By examining the past as such, Jack works out of truth and time an establishment that will raise him to remain steadfast in an unsure future. Works Cited Eliot, T. S. Gathered Poems 1909-1962. Harcourt: New York, 1963. Warren, Robert Penn. All the King's Men. New York: Grosset, 1946. Weaver, Richard. Thoughts Have Consequences. Chicago: University of Chicago, 1948.

Airel in the Tempest Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 500 words

Airel in the Tempest - Essay Example Frequently, Prospero reminds Ariel about how he was caught when he was the hireling of Sycorax and, in Act 1: Scene 2, Prospero clarifies how Ariel endured on account of his previous ace. It is additionally key to understand that, as Prospero recommends, it was Ariel who regularly called himself as the captive of Prospero, and thusly the connection among Prospero and Ariel is that of an ace slave relationship. Thus, it is likewise clear to the cautious peruser of the play that Ariel regarded and obeyed Prospero more genuinely than Sycorax who had detained him for declining to achieve her ‘earthy and abhorr’d commands’. Ariel complied with each order by Prospero, in contrast to the orders by the evil sorceress, and he assumed a significant job in doing the plans of Prospero to vindicate his adversaries. In this way, a cautious comprehension of the character Ariel in the play The Tempest affirms that his job as â€Å"an breezy spirit†, alongside his relations hip to Prospero, contributes extraordinarily to the general improvement of the play. It is key to understand that the character Ariel in the play The Tempest assumes a significant job as â€Å"an vaporous spirit† who is at the administration of Prospero, the main coordinator of the activities in the play. Ariel is a feeling of the air and Prospero utilizes the administration of this ‘airy spirit’ to complete his arrangements and plans. In this manner, we understand that it is Ariel, at Prospero’s order, who works up the storm in the start of the play and the whirlwind worked up by this ‘airy spirit’ strands Alonso and his adherents on the island. The significant job of Ariel becomes evident when we relate the very title of the play, for example The Tempest, to the wellspring of this storm, for example the ‘airy spirit’. Essentially, in another significant scene, Ariel dumbfounds Alonso’s child, at the directions by his lord, and it is a critical turning in the plot of Prospero. Thusly, the obvious and undete ctable job

How Brain Cells Communicate With Each Other

How Brain Cells Communicate With Each Other Panic Disorder Print How Brain Cells Communicate With Each Other By Sheryl Ankrom linkedin Sheryl Ankrom is a clinical professional counselor and nationally certified clinical mental health counselor specializing in anxiety disorders. Learn about our editorial policy Sheryl Ankrom Updated on November 20, 2019 PIXOLOGICSTUDIO/SCIENCE PHOTO LIBRARY / Getty Images More in Panic Disorder Symptoms Diagnosis Treatment Coping Related Conditions Weighing in at only about three pounds, the brain is the most complicated part of the human body. As the organ responsible for intelligence, thoughts, sensations, memories, body movement, feelings and behavior, it has been studied and hypothesized for centuries. But, it is the last decade of research that has provided the most significant contributions to our understanding of how the brain functions. Even with these advancements, what we know so far is probably only a fraction of what we will, undoubtedly, discover in the future. The human brain is believed to function in a complex chemical environment through various types of neurons and neurotransmitters. Neurons are brain cells, numbering in the billions, which are capable of instant communication with each other through chemical messengers called neurotransmitters. As we live our lives, brain cells are constantly receiving information about our environment. The brain then attempts to make an internal representation of our external world through complex chemical changes. Neurons (Brain Cells) The center of the neuron is called the cell body or soma. It contains the nucleus, which houses the cell’s deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA) or genetic material. The cell’s DNA defines what type of cell it is and how it will function. At one end of the cell body are the dendrites, which are receivers of information sent by other brain cells (neurons). The term dendrite, which comes from a Latin term for tree, is used because the dendrites of a neuron resemble tree branches. At the other end of the cell body is the axon. The axon is a long tubular fiber that extends away from the cell body. The axon acts as a conductor of electrical signals. At the base of the axon are the axon terminals. These terminals contain vesicles where chemical messengers, also known as neurotransmitters, are stored. Neurotransmitters (Chemical Messengers) It is believed that the brain contains several hundred different types of chemical messengers (neurotransmitters). Generally, these messengers are categorized as either excitatory or inhibitory. An excitatory messenger stimulates the electrical activity of the brain cell, whereas an inhibitory messenger calms this activity. The activity of a neuron (brain cell) is largely determined by the balance of these excitatory and inhibitory mechanisms. Scientists have identified specific neurotransmitters that are believed to be related to anxiety disorders. The chemical messengers that are typically targeted with medications commonly used to treat the panic disorder include: Serotonin. This neurotransmitter plays a role in modulating a variety of body functions and feelings, including our mood. Low serotonin levels have been linked to depression and anxiety. The antidepressants called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are considered to be the first-line agents in the treatment of panic disorder. SSRIs increase the level of serotonin in the brain, resulting in decreased anxiety and inhibition of panic attacks.Norepinephrine is a neurotransmitter that is believed to be associated with the fight or flight stress response. It contributes to feelings of alertness, fear, anxiety, and panic. Selective serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs) and tricyclic antidepressants affect the serotonin and norepinephrine levels in the brain, resulting in an anti-panic effect.Gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) is an inhibitory neurotransmitter that acts through a negative feedback system to block the transmission of a signal from one cell to another. It is important for balancing the excitation in the brain. Benzodiazepines (anti-anxiety drugs) work on the GABA receptors of the brain inducing a state of relaxation. How Neurons and Neurotransmitters Working Together When a brain cell receives sensory information, it fires an electrical impulse that travels down the axon to the axon terminal where chemical messengers (neurotransmitters) are stored. This triggers the release of these chemical messengers into the synaptic cleft, which is a small space between the sending neuron and the receiving neuron. As the messenger makes its journey across the synaptic cleft, several things may happen: The messenger may be degraded and knocked out of the picture by an enzyme before it reaches its target receptor.The messenger may be transported back into the axon terminal through a reuptake mechanism and be deactivated or recycled for future use.The messenger may bind to a receptor (dendrite) on a neighboring cell and complete the delivery of its message. The message may then be forwarded to the dendrites of other neighboring cells. But, if the receiving cell determines that no more of the neurotransmitters are needed, it will not forward the message. The messenger will then continue to try to find another receiver of its message until it is deactivated or returned to the axon terminal by the reuptake mechanism. For optimal brain function, neurotransmitters must be carefully balanced and orchestrated. They are often interconnected and rely on each other for proper function. For example, the neurotransmitter GABA, which induces relaxation, can only function properly with adequate amounts of serotonin. Many psychological disturbances, including panic disorder, may be the result of poor quality or low quantities of certain neurotransmitters or neuron receptor sites, the release of too much of a neurotransmitter or the malfunctioning of the reuptake mechanisms of the neuron.

Marketing Position Paper - 1851 Words

MKT 301-2 April 1, 2013 Revenge TV Show STP Revenge is an American television primetime soap opera that first airs on ABC on September 21, 2011, the show has two seasons. The episode also aired on Wednesday nights at 10 PM Eastern Time. Revenge becomes ABC’s highest-rated series in Wednesday’s 10 P.M timeslot. Revenge is American Drama episodes created by Mike Kelley, the major location of the scene is Los Angeles, California and Southampton, New York. Each shows is approximately 43 minutes. â€Å"The Series was picked up for a full season by ABC after garnering a 3.3 Nielsen rating in the all-important 18-39 age advertising demographics for its pilot episode and regularly winning its timeslot against every other television network.†Ã¢â‚¬ ¦show more content†¦Many women who fell into this category are going to spend fair amount of time everyday watching this TV show because this could be the one of the many ways for housewives and office lady to relief from stress and boring lifest yle. This group of women is big consumer of media on the whole, they engaging with a variety of platforms on the daily basis. Compare to man on the same age group, women are generally consumer more TV shows, and predictably those with children, daytime viewing is integral part of their day. Vast majority of ethnicity of this group are White American and African American Female, might also include Hispanic and Asian population who has been in USA at least in past 5 or 8 years. The third potential segment group is both male and female from age 45-57 year old, this group of people have the most of income from $2500-$95000. As the population lives longer, people’s attitudes are staying younger. Generally male and female in this time bracket are time-rich than they were when they were younger; many of them still place a significant emphasis on their family and homes. Many of them are grandparents now and some of them are getting close to retired, there is likelihood that they will live with their offspring. This group of people are very experienced and have some leisure time at home and therefore are likely spend some time to watch Revenge TV show. When trying to evaluate the attractiveness of the segment, theShow MoreRelatedPosition Paper: Corporate Affairs vs Corporate Marketing1796 Words   |  8 PagesCORPORATE MARKETING? 3 Key Questions and Key Constructs for the Corporate Marketing Function 4 WHAT IS CORPORATE AFFAIRS? 5 Internal Communications 6 External Communications 6 Investor Relations 6 Events Coordination 6 The work of Corporate Affairs in a retail organization 7 THE REALMS OF CORPORATE IDENTITY, BRANDING AND MARKETING 8 SUMMARY 9 RECOMMENDATION 9 ________________________________________ WHAT IS CORPORATE MARKETING? â€Å"Corporate marketing is the marketing of corporationsRead MoreThe Consumer Behavior For My Target Market1544 Words   |  7 PagesIntroduction This paper will introduce Denise’s Scraping with Style (DSS) branding strategy. First, this paper will introduce DSS’ brand name, logo, slogan, and one brand extension. 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The Business Environment Of Nigeria And Norway Essay

Question 1The concept of Business EnvironmentBusiness environment can be understood as the combination of all environmental conditions and influences that are capable of affecting or influencing business activities. According to Anyanwu et al (1996) defines the environment of business as the aggregation of the pattern of all the external and internal conditions and influences that affect the existence, growth and development of the business. Opportunities and threats may be associated with external environment while the strengths and weakness may be associated with internal environment of the business (Audu, 2010a).In this paper, we will compare the business environment of two countries namely: Nigeria and Norway. The reason for choosing these two countries include the fact that both are part of the top ten net oil-exporting nations for which hydrocarbon exports account for more than 40% of total exports. We will compare and contrast the fiscal policy of both countries and the busine ss environment.Overview of Nigeria and NorwayLet give a quick fact summary of these two countries:NigeriaNorwayPopulation169.3 million5.1 millionGDP (PPP)$479.3 billion$280.0 billion6.3% growth0.8% growth7.0% 5-year compound annual growth0.8% 5-year compound annual growth$2,831 per capita$54,947 per capitaUnemployment7.5%3.5%Inflation (CPI)8.5%2.1%FDI Inflow$5.6 billion$9.3 billionBusiness Freedom48.392.1Labor Freedom77.748.2Monetary Freedom70.481.7Government Spending76.143.8FiscalShow MoreRelatedLetter Of Motivation And Statement Of Purpose Essay1462 Words   |  6 Pagesfather is a graduate degree in Engineering from Woolich, London. He is also an Alumni of Munchen, West Germany where he understood an advanced course in Electrical/Electronic. My mother has a bachelor degree in Business Administration. They both reside in Nigeria, my father is a business man and also a traditional ruler (King). While my mother also run her chain of businesses and takes care of the home considerin g my father s responsibilities. I am the 4th child out of 5 children from my motherRead MoreBoard Diversity As An Effective Corporate Governance1551 Words   |  7 PagesLiterature on Corporate governance exploring the issue of diversity (especially gender) in developing countries such as Nigeria where discrimination is the order of the day. Research Questions and Aim of Study The aim of the study is to explore the concept of Diversity as a means of improving corporate governance in various industries by exploring the relationship between diversity and business performance. The research questions that the study would explore are: 1. Does the appointment of women of boardsRead MoreChallenges to Nigerian Housing Policies2833 Words   |  12 Pages Challenges to Providing Affordable Housing in Nigeria By Akeju, Ajibola Andrew Economic Specialist US Embassy, Abuja Being a Paper Presented at the 2nd Emerging Urban Africa International Conference on Housing Finance in Nigeria, Held at Sehu Yaradua Center Abuja, October 17-19, 2007 Introduction Housing is one of the most basic of human needs. Provision of houses through the creation of mortgages is taken for granted in developed countries; however, it remains a major challenge in developing countriesRead MoreMarketing Plan For Premier Oil Plc Essay2621 Words   |  11 PagesREFENCE†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦..3 2 EXECUTIVE SUMMARY†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦4 3 BUSINESS MISSION†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦5 4 ANALYSIS AND MARKETING AUDIT OF PREMIER OIL STRATEGY†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦6 4.1 EXTERNAL ENVIRONMENT†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦.6 4.1.1 PESTEL ANALYSIS†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦6 4.1.2 MICHAEL PORTER’S FIVE FORCES FRAMEWORK†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦7 4.2 INTERNAL ENVIRONMENT†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦7 4.2.1 SWOT ANALYSIS†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦7 Read MoreSWOT Analysis of Nigerian Business Environment24237 Words   |  97 PagesEnergy Market Analysis in Nigeria Daramola, Oladipo 2012 Leppà ¤vaara Laurea University of Applied Sciences Laurea Leppà ¤vaara Renewable Energy Market Analysis in Nigeria Daramola Oladipo Degree Programme in Business Information Technology Bachelor’s Thesis December, 2012 Laurea University of Applied Sciences Abstract Laurea Leppà ¤vaara Bachelor’s Degree Programme in Business Information Technology Daramola, Oladipo Renewable Energy Market Analysis in Nigeria Year 2012 Pages 110 ThisRead MoreEconomic Development Of The Black Gold2329 Words   |  10 Pagesresource is discovered. The anticipation and sense of optimism that income from the notion that oil discovery would foster development of local community and countries is yet to be realized by most developing oil producing nations. Hayward C. 2009 and Business Monitor International 2006 highlight measures and actions to be implemented in case of oil discovery are to grow the economy. According to Larsen E. R. 2005 and Datamonitor 2006, Norway’s relative development and economic growth as an oil rich countryRead MoreCereal Is A Common Household Breakfast Item Developed By The United States And Produced Using Processed Grains1509 Words   |  7 PagesYork, who sued Kellogg for copyright infringements. Consequently, Kellogg changed his product’s name to granola, but never bothered to advertise it as a result of his Christian philanthropist ideology. Astutely business-minded, Kellogg’s younger brother William Keith Kellogg saw the business potential granola could bring to his family but was unable to convince John to commercialize the product. Tenacious, William purchased his brother’s shares and made the product more aesthetically pleasing and consequentlyRead MoreEssay on A Marketing Case Study on Axis Communications5143 Words   |  21 Pages..............................................................19 4.4.4 Distribution Plan.............................................................................................20 4.4.5 Globalization and E-business..........................................................................20 5. MARKETING BUDGET....................................................................................................21 6. BIBLIOGRAPHY................Read MoreThe Harsh Truth Of An Epidemic1618 Words   |  7 Pagesmillion as of 2014, with an unemployment rate of 5.1%. Their poverty line is at 63%, with a population of 17.83 million people since 2013. Inflation is at 2.3% and their budget surplus is at -12.6% of GDP in 2014. Niger’s export partners consist of Nigeria with 54.2%, South Korea with 26.2% and Ghana with 6.7%. The commodities they import are foodstuffs, machinery, vehicles and parts, petroleum and cereals. These overall are not very good statistics, I am also not going to generalize poor countriesRead MoreGas Flaring in the Niger Delta7275 Words   |  30 PagesGAS FLARING IN THE NIGER DELTA: ITS ECONOMIC AND ENVIRONMENTAL EFFECTS. Abstract Nigeria flares 17.2 billion m3 of natural gas per year in conjunction with the exploration of crude oil in the Niger Delta. This gas flaring expends huge amounts of energy and causes environmental degradation and disease. Even though oil has become the center of current industrial development and economic activities, the links between oil exploration and exploitation processes and the incumbent environmental, health

Bloodlines Chapter Eighteen Free Essays

â€Å"WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘MISSING’?† I asked. â€Å"She was supposed to meet us a couple hours ago,† Eddie said, exchanging glances with Micah. â€Å"I thought maybe she was with you. We will write a custom essay sample on Bloodlines Chapter Eighteen or any similar topic only for you Order Now † â€Å"I haven’t seen her since PE.† I was trying hard not to kick into panic mode yet. There were too many variables at play and not enough evidence to start thinking crazy Moroi dissidents had kidnapped her. â€Å"This is a really big place – I mean, three campuses. Are you sure she isn’t just holed up studying somewhere?† â€Å"We’ve done a pretty exhaustive search,† said the security officer. â€Å"And teachers and workers are on alert looking for her. No sightings yet.† â€Å"And she isn’t answering her cell phone,† added Eddie. I finally let true fear overtake me, and my face must have shown it. The officer’s expression softened. â€Å"Don’t worry. I’m sure she’ll turn up.† It was the kind of conciliatory thing people in his profession had to say to family members. â€Å"But do you have any other ideas of where she might be?† â€Å"What about your other brothers?† asked Micah. I’d been afraid it would come to that. I was almost one hundred percent sure she wasn’t with Keith, but he should still probably be notified about her disappearance. It wasn’t something I looked forward to because I knew there’d be a lecture in it for me. It would also be a sign of my failure in the eyes of other Alchemists. I should have stayed by Jill’s side. That was my job, right? Instead, I’d – foolishly – been helping someone run errands. Not just anyone – a vampire. That’s how the Alchemists would see it. Vamp lover. â€Å"I was just with Adrian,† I said slowly. â€Å"I suppose she could’ve somehow gotten to Clarence’s and waited for him. I didn’t actually go inside.† â€Å"I tried Adrian too,† said Eddie. â€Å"No answer.† â€Å"Sorry,† I said. â€Å"We were doing his interviews, so he must have turned his phone off. Do you want to try him again?† I certainly didn’t want to. Eddie stepped aside to call Adrian while I talked with Mrs. Weathers and the officer. Micah paced around, looking worried, and I felt guilty for always wanting to keep him from Jill. The race thing was a problem, but he really did care about her. I told the officer all the places Jill liked to frequent on campus. They confirmed that they’d already checked them all. â€Å"You got ahold of him?† I asked when Eddie returned. He nodded. â€Å"She’s not there. I feel kind of bad, though. He’s pretty worried now. Maybe we should’ve waited to tell him.† â€Å"No†¦ actually, it might be a good thing.† I met Eddie’s eyes and saw a spark of understanding. Adrian’s emotions seemed to intrude on Jill when they were running strong. If he was panicked enough, she’d hopefully realize people were concerned and show back up. That was assuming she was just hiding out or had gone somewhere we couldn’t find. I tried not to consider the alternative: that something had happened where she couldn’t contact us. â€Å"Sometimes students just sneak off,† said the officer. â€Å"It’s inevitable. Usually they try to sneak back in before curfew. Hopefully that’s just the case now. If she doesn’t show up then – well, then we’ll call the police.† He walked off to radio the rest of security for a status check, and we thanked him for his help. Mrs. Weathers returned to the front desk, but it was clear she was worried and agitated. She came across as gruff sometimes, but I had the feeling she actually cared about her students. Micah left us to find a few friends of his who worked on campus, in case they’d seen anything. That left Eddie and me. Without conferring, we turned toward some chairs in the lobby. Like me, I think he wanted to stake out the door in order to see Jill the instant she showed up. â€Å"I shouldn’t have left her,† he said. â€Å"You had to,† I said reasonably. â€Å"You can’t be with her in classes or her room.† â€Å"This place was a bad idea. It’s too big. Too hard to secure.† He sighed. â€Å"I can’t believe this.† â€Å"No†¦ it was a good idea. Jill needs some semblance of a normal life. You could’ve locked her in a room somewhere and cut her off from all interaction, but what good would that do? She needs to go to school and be with people.† â€Å"She hasn’t done much of that, though.† â€Å"No,† I admitted. â€Å"She’s had a rough time with it. I kept hoping it’d get better.† â€Å"I just wanted her to be happy.† â€Å"Me too.† I straightened up as something alarming hit me. â€Å"You don’t think†¦ you don’t think she would’ve run away and gone back to her mom, do you? Or Court or somewhere?† His face grew even more bleak. â€Å"I hope not. Do you think things have been that bad?† I thought about our fight after the shower incident. â€Å"I don’t know. Maybe.† Eddie buried his face in his hands. â€Å"I can’t believe this,† he repeated. â€Å"I failed.† When it came to Jill, Eddie was usually all fierceness and anger. I’d never seen him so close to depression. I’d been living with the fear of my own failure since coming to Palm Springs but only now realized that Eddie had just as much on the line. I recalled Adrian’s words about Eddie and his friend Mason, how Eddie felt responsible. If Jill didn’t come back, would this be history repeating itself? Would she be someone else he’d lost? I’d thought this mission might be redemption for him. Instead, it could turn into Mason all over again. â€Å"You didn’t fail,† I said. â€Å"You’ve been in charge of protecting her, and you’ve done that. You can’t control her happiness. If anything, I’m to blame. I gave her a lecture for the shower incident.† â€Å"Yeah, but I destroyed her hopes when I told her the modeling idea Lee had wouldn’t work.† â€Å"But you were right about – Lee!† I gasped. â€Å"That’s it. That’s where she is. She’s with Lee, I’m certain of it. Do you have his number?† Eddie groaned. â€Å"I’m such an idiot,† he said, taking out his cell phone and scanning for the number. â€Å"I should’ve thought of that.† I touched the cross around my neck, saying a silent prayer that this would all be solved easily. As long as it meant Jill was alive and well, I could’ve handled her and Lee eloping. â€Å"Hey, Lee? It’s Eddie. Is Jill with you?† There was a pause as Lee responded. Eddie’s body language answered the question before I heard another word. His posture relaxed, and relief flooded his features. â€Å"Okay,† said Eddie a few moments later. â€Å"Well, get her back here. Now. Everyone’s looking for her.† Another pause. Eddie’s face hardened. â€Å"We can talk about that later.† He disconnected and turned to me. â€Å"She’s okay.† â€Å"Thank God,† I breathed. I stood up, only then realizing how tense I’d been. â€Å"I’ll be right back.† I found Mrs. Weathers and the security officer and relayed the news. The officer immediately spread the word to his colleagues and soon left. To my surprise, Mrs. Weathers almost looked like she was on the verge of tears. â€Å"Are you okay?† I asked. â€Å"Yes, yes.† She turned flustered, embarrassed at being so emotional. â€Å"I was just so worried. I – I didn’t want to say anything and scare you all, but every time a student’s missing†¦ well, a few years ago, another girl disappeared. We thought she’d just sneaked off – like Matt said, it happens. But it turned out†¦Ã¢â‚¬  Mrs. Weathers grimaced and looked away. â€Å"I shouldn’t be telling you this.† As if she could stop with that kind of intro. â€Å"No, please. Tell me.† She sighed. â€Å"The police found her a couple days later – dead. She’d been abducted and killed. It was terrible, and they never caught her killer. Now I just think of that whenever someone disappears. It’s never happened again, of course. But something like that scars you.† I could imagine so. And as I returned to Eddie, I thought about him and Mason again. It seemed like everyone was carrying baggage from past events. I certainly was. Now that Jill’s safety wasn’t a concern, all I kept thinking was: What will the Alchemists say? What will my father say? Eddie was just hanging up his phone again when I approached. â€Å"I called Micah to tell him everything’s okay,† he explained. â€Å"He was really worried.† All signs of Mrs. Weathers’s past trauma vanished the instant that Jill and Lee walked through the door. Jill actually looked upbeat until she saw all of our faces. She came to a halt. Beside her, Lee already looked grim. I think he knew what was coming. Eddie and I hurried forward but didn’t have a chance to speak right away. Mrs. Weathers immediately demanded to know where they’d been. Rather than cover it up, Jill confessed and told the truth: she and Lee had gone off campus, into Palm Springs. She was careful to make sure Lee didn’t get accused of any kidnapping charges, swearing he didn’t know she could only leave with approved family members. I confirmed this – though Lee was hardly off the hook in my opinion. â€Å"Will you wait outside?† I asked him politely. â€Å"I’d like to speak to you privately later.† Lee started to obey, flashing Jill a look of apology. He lightly brushed her hand in farewell and turned away. It was Mrs. Weathers who stopped him. â€Å"Wait,† she said, peering at him curiously. â€Å"Do I know you?† Lee looked startled. â€Å"I don’t think so. I’ve never been here before.† â€Å"There’s something familiar about you,† she insisted. Her frown deepened a few moments more. At last, she shrugged. â€Å"It can’t be. I must be mistaken.† Lee nodded, met Jill’s eyes in sympathy again, and left. Mrs. Weathers wasn’t done with Jill. She launched into a lecture about how dangerous and irresponsible they’d been. â€Å"If you were going to sneak off and break rules, you could’ve at least confided in your siblings. They’ve been scared to death for you.† It was almost funny, her advising on â€Å"responsible† rule-breaking. Considering how panicked I’d been, I couldn’t find anything amusing just then. She also told Jill that she’d be written up and punished. â€Å"For now,† said Mrs. Weathers, â€Å"you are confined to your room for the rest of the night. Come see me after breakfast, and we’ll find out if the principal thinks this warrants suspension.† â€Å"Excuse me,† said Eddie. â€Å"Can we have a few minutes alone here with her before she goes upstairs? I’d like to talk to her.† Mrs. Weathers hesitated, apparently wanting Jill’s punishment immediately enforced. Then she gave Eddie a double take. The look on his face was hard and angry, and I think Mrs. Weathers knew there was punishment of a different sort coming from Jill’s big brother. â€Å"Five minutes,† said Mrs. Weathers, tapping her watch. â€Å"Then up you go.† â€Å"Don’t,† said Jill, the instant we were alone. Her face was a mixture of fear and defiance. â€Å"I know what I did was wrong. I don’t need a lecture from you guys.† â€Å"Don’t you?† I asked. â€Å"Because if you knew it was wrong, you wouldn’t have done it!† Jill crossed her arms over her chest. â€Å"I had to get out of here. On my own terms. And not with you guys.† The comment rolled right off of me. It sounded young and petty. But to my surprise, Eddie actually looked hurt. â€Å"What’s that supposed to mean?† he asked. â€Å"It means that I just wanted to be away from this place without you always telling me what I’m doing wrong.† That was directed to me. â€Å"And you jumping at every shadow.† That, of course, was to Eddie. â€Å"I just want to protect you,† he said, looking hurt. â€Å"I’m not trying to smother you, but I can’t have anything happen to you. Not again.† â€Å"I’m in more danger from Laurel than any assassins!† Jill exclaimed. â€Å"Do you know what she did today? We were working in the computer lab, and she ‘accidentally’ tripped over my power cord. I lost half my work and didn’t finish in time, so now I’m going to get a lower grade.† A lesson on backing up work probably wouldn’t be useful just then. â€Å"Look, that’s really terrible,† I said. â€Å"But it’s not in the same category as getting yourself killed. Not by a long shot. Where exactly did you go?† For a moment, she looked as though she wasn’t going to give up the info. Finally, she said, â€Å"Lee took me to Salton Sea.† Seeing our blank looks, she added, â€Å"It’s a lake outside of town. It was wonderful.† An almost-dreamy expression crossed her features. â€Å"I haven’t been around that much water in so long. Then we went downtown and just walked around, shopping and eating ice cream. He took me to that boutique, with the designer who’s looking for models and – â€Å" â€Å"Jill,† I interrupted. â€Å"I don’t care how awesome your day was. You scared us. Don’t you get that?† â€Å"Lee shouldn’t have done this,† growled Eddie. â€Å"Don’t blame him,† said Jill. â€Å"I talked him into it – I made him think you guys wouldn’t mind. And he doesn’t know the real reason I’m here or the danger.† â€Å"Maybe dating was a bad idea,† I muttered. â€Å"Lee’s the best thing that’s happened to me here!† she said angrily. â€Å"I deserve to be able to go out and have fun like you guys.† ‘†Fun’? That’s kind of an exaggeration,† I said, recalling my afternoon with Adrian. Jill needed a target for her frustration, and I won the honor. â€Å"Doesn’t seem like it to me. You’re always gone. And when you aren’t, you just tell me what I’m doing wrong. It’s like you’re my mom.† I’d been wading through all of this calmly, but suddenly, something about that comment made me snap. My finely tuned control shattered. â€Å"You know what? I kind of feel that way too. Because as far as I can tell, I am the only one in this group behaving like an adult. You think I’m out there having fun? All I’m doing is babysitting you guys and cleaning up your messes. I spent my afternoon – wasted my afternoon – driving Adrian around so that he could blow off the interviews that I set up. Then I get here and have to deal with the aftermath of your ‘field trip.’ I get that Laurel’s a pain – although maybe if Micah had been warned off from the beginning, these problems with her never would’ve happened.† I directed that last comment at Eddie. â€Å"I don’t get why I’m the only one who sees how serious everything is. Vampire-human dating. Your lives on the line. These aren’t the kinds of things you can screw around with! And yet†¦ somehow, you all still do. You leave me to do the hard stuff, to pick up after you†¦ and all the while, I’ve got Keith and the other Alchemists breathing down my neck, waiting for me to screw up because no one trusts me since helping your pal Rose. You think this is fun? You want to live my life? Then do it. Step right up, and you start taking responsibility for a change.† I hadn’t yelled, but my volume had certainly gone up. I’d pretty much delivered my speech without taking a breath and now paused for some oxygen. Eddie and Jill stared at me, wide-eyed, as though they didn’t recognize me. Mrs. Weathers returned to us just then. â€Å"That’s enough for tonight. You need to go upstairs now,† she told Jill. Jill nodded, still a little stunned, and hurried away without saying goodbye to any of us. Mrs. Weathers walked her to the stairs, and Eddie turned to me. His face was pale and solemn. â€Å"You’re right,† he said. â€Å"I haven’t been pulling my share.† I sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted. â€Å"You’re not as bad as they are.† He shook his head. â€Å"Still. You might be right about Micah. Maybe he’ll keep some distance if I talk to him, and then Laurel will lay off Jill. I’ll ask him tonight. But†¦Ã¢â‚¬  He frowned, choosing his words carefully. â€Å"Try not to be too hard on Adrian and Jill. This is stressful for her, and sometimes I think a little of Adrian’s personality is leaking into her through the bond. I’m sure that’s why she ran off today. It’s something he’d do in her situation.† â€Å"No one forced her to do it,† I said. â€Å"Least of all Adrian. The fact that she coaxed Lee and didn’t tell us shows that she knew it was wrong. That’s free will. And Adrian has no such excuses.† â€Å"Yeah†¦ but he’s Adrian,† said Eddie lamely. â€Å"Sometimes I don’t know how much of what he does is him and how much is spirit.† â€Å"Spirit users can take antidepressants, can’t they? If he’s worried about it becoming a problem, then he needs to step up and take charge. He has a choice. He’s not helpless. There are no victims here.† Eddie studied me for several seconds. â€Å"And I thought I had a harsh view on life.† â€Å"You have a harsh life,† I corrected. â€Å"But yours is built around the idea that you always have to take care of other people. I was raised to believe that’s necessary sometimes but that everyone still needs to try to take care of themselves.† â€Å"And yet here you are.† â€Å"Tell me about it. You want to come talk to Lee with me?† All apology vanished from Eddie’s face. â€Å"Yes,† he said fiercely. We found Lee sitting on a bench outside, looking miserable. He jumped up when we approached. â€Å"You guys, I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have done it. She just sounded so sad and so lost that I wanted to – â€Å" â€Å"You know how protective we are of her,† I said. â€Å"How could you have not thought that this would worry us?† â€Å"And she’s a minor,† said Eddie. â€Å"You can’t just take her away and do whatever you want with her!† I admit, I was a little surprised that the threat to Jill’s virtue was what he chose to bring up. Don’t get me wrong – I was also conscious of her age. But after he saw her literally die, it seemed like Eddie would be worried about more than making out. Lee’s gray eyes went wide. â€Å"Nothing happened! I would never do anything like that to her. I promise! I’d never take advantage of someone so trusting. I can’t ruin this. She means more to me than any other girl I’ve dated. I want us to be together forever.† I thought being â€Å"together forever† was extreme at their ages, but there was a sincerity in his eyes that was touching. It still didn’t excuse what he’d done. He took our lecturing seriously and promised there would never be a repeat. â€Å"But please†¦ can I still see her when you’re around? Can we still do group things?† Eddie and I exchanged glances. â€Å"If she’s even allowed to leave campus after this,† I said. â€Å"I really don’t know what’s going to happen.† Lee left after a few more apologies, and Eddie also returned to his dorm. I was walking upstairs when my phone rang. Glancing down, I was startled to see my parents’ number in Salt Lake City on the caller ID. â€Å"Hello?† I asked. For a frantic moment, I hoped it was Zoe. â€Å"Sydney.† My father. My stomach filled with dread. â€Å"We need to talk about what’s happened.† Panic shot through me. How had he found out about Jill’s disappearance already? Keith jumped out as the obvious culprit. But how had Keith found out? Had he been at Clarence’s when Eddie called Adrian? Despite his flaws, I couldn’t imagine Adrian telling Keith what had happened. â€Å"Talk about what?† I asked, playing for time. â€Å"Your behavior. Keith called me last night, and I must say, I’m very disappointed.† â€Å"Last night?† This wasn’t about Jill’s disappearance. So what was it about? â€Å"You’re supposed to be coordinating efforts for that Moroi girl to blend in. You aren’t supposed to be out socializing with them and having a good time! I could hardly believe it when Keith said you took them out bowling.† â€Å"It was mini-golf, and Keith okayed it! I asked him first.† â€Å"And then I hear you’re helping all these other vampires run errands and whatnot. Your duty is only to the girl, and that is to do only what’s necessary for her survival – which I also hear you aren’t doing. Keith tells me there was an incident where you didn’t properly handle her difficulties in the sun?† â€Å"I reported that immediately!† I cried. I’d known Keith was planning to use that against me. â€Å"Keith – † I paused, thinking about the best way to handle this. â€Å"Misunderstood my initial report.† Keith had blown off my initial report, but telling my father his protege had lied would just put my father’s defenses up. He wouldn’t believe me. â€Å"And Keith’s one to talk! He’s always hanging out with Clarence and won’t say why.† â€Å"Probably to make sure he remains stable. I understand the old man isn’t all there.† â€Å"He’s obsessed with vampire hunters,† I explained. â€Å"He thinks there are humans out there that killed his niece.† â€Å"Well,† said my father, â€Å"there are some humans out there who catch on to the vampire world, those whom we can’t dissuade. Hardly hunters. Keith’s doing his duty by enlightening Clarence. You, however, are misguided.† â€Å"That’s not a fair comparison!† â€Å"Honestly, I blame myself,† he said. Somehow I doubted that. â€Å"I shouldn’t have let you go. You weren’t ready – not after what you went through. Being with these vampires is confusing you. That’s why I’m recalling you.† â€Å"What?† â€Å"If I had my way, it’d be right now. Unfortunately, Zoe won’t be ready for another two weeks. The Alchemists want her to undergo some testing before she gets her tattoo. Once she does, we’ll send her in your place and get you†¦ some help.† â€Å"Dad! This is crazy. I’m doing fine here. Please, don’t send Zoe – â€Å" â€Å"I’m sorry, Sydney,† he said. â€Å"You’ve left me no choice. Please don’t get into trouble in your remaining time.† He disconnected, and I stood in the hall, my heart sinking. Two weeks! Two weeks and they were sending Zoe. And me†¦ where were they sending me? I didn’t want to think about it, but I knew. I needed to stop this from happening. Wheels were already in motion. The tattoos, I suddenly thought. If I could finish my tests on the stolen substances and find out info about the blood supplier, I would earn the Alchemists’ regard – hopefully enough to take away the taint that Keith had put on me. And why had he done it? Why now? I knew he’d never wanted me along. Maybe he had just been biding his time, building up evidence against me until he could get me ousted in one fell swoop. I wouldn’t let him, though. I’d bust open this tattoo case and prove who the stellar Alchemist was. I had enough evidence now to get their attention and would simply turn in what I had if nothing new came to light within a week. The decision filled me with resolve, but I still had trouble sleeping when I went to bed later. My father’s threat hung over me, as did my fear of the reeducation centers. After about an hour of tossing and turning I finally dozed off. But even that was fitful and troubled. I woke up after only a few hours and then had to fall asleep all over again. This time, I dreamed. In the dream, I stood in Clarence’s living room. Everything was neat and in place, the dark wood and antique furniture giving the space its usual ominous feel. The details were surprisingly vivid, and it was like I could even smell the dusty books and leather on the furniture. â€Å"Huh. It worked. Wasn’t sure if it would with a human.† I spun around and found Adrian leaning against the wall. He hadn’t been there a moment ago, and I had a flash of that childhood fear of vampires appearing out of nowhere. Then I remembered this was a dream, and these kinds of things happened. â€Å"What weren’t you sure about?† I asked. He gestured around him. â€Å"If I could reach you. Bring you here into this dream.† I didn’t quite follow what he meant and said nothing. He arched an eyebrow. â€Å"You don’t know, do you? Where you are?† â€Å"At Clarence’s,† I said reasonably. â€Å"Well, in reality I’m asleep in my bed. This is just a dream.† â€Å"You’re half right,† he said. â€Å"This is a spirit dream. This is real.† I frowned. A spirit dream. Since most of our information about spirit was sketchy, we had hardly anything on spirit dreams. I’d learned most of what I knew about them from Rose, who had been frequently visited by Adrian in them. According to her, the dreamer and the spirit user were actually together, in a meeting of the minds, communicating across long distances. It was hard for me to fully grasp that, but I’d seen Rose wake up with information she wouldn’t have otherwise had. Still, I had no evidence to suggest I was really in a spirit dream now. â€Å"This is just a regular dream,† I countered. â€Å"Are you sure?† he asked. â€Å"Look around. Concentrate. Doesn’t it feel different? Like a dream†¦ but not like a dream. Not quite like real life either. Call it what you want, but the next time we see each other in the waking world, I’ll be able to tell you exactly what happened here.† I looked around the room, studying it as he’d suggested. Again, I was struck by the vividness of even the smallest details. It certainly felt real, but dreams often did†¦ right? You usually never knew you were dreaming until you woke up. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to still my mind. And like that, I felt it. I understood what he meant. Not quite like a dream. Not quite like real life. My eyes flew open. â€Å"Stop it,† I cried, backing away from him. â€Å"Make it end. Get me out of here.† Because in accepting that this really was a spirit dream, I’d had to acknowledge something else: I was surrounded in vampire magic. My mind was ensnared in it. I felt claustrophobic. The magic was pressing on me, crushing the air. â€Å"Please.† My voice grew more and more frantic. â€Å"Please let me go.† Adrian straightened up, looking surprised. â€Å"Whoa, Sage. Calm down. You’re okay.† â€Å"No. I’m not. I don’t want this. I don’t want the magic touching me.† â€Å"It won’t hurt you,† he said. â€Å"It’s nothing.† â€Å"It’s wrong,† I whispered. â€Å"Adrian, stop it.† He reached out a hand, like he might try to comfort me, and then thought better of it. â€Å"It won’t hurt you,† he repeated. â€Å"Just hear me out, and then I’ll dissolve it. I promise.† Even in the dream, my pulse was racing. I wrapped my arms around myself and backed up against the wall, trying to make myself small. â€Å"Okay,† I whispered. â€Å"Hurry.† â€Å"I just wanted to say†¦Ã¢â‚¬  He stuffed his hands in his pockets and glanced away uncomfortably before looking at me again. Were his eyes greener here than in real life? Or was it just my imagination? â€Å"I wanted to†¦ I wanted to apologize.† â€Å"For what?† I asked. I couldn’t process anything beyond my own terror. â€Å"For what I did. You were right. I wasted your time and your work today.† I forced my mind to dredge up memories from this afternoon. â€Å"Thank you,† I said simply. â€Å"I don’t know why I do these things,† he added. â€Å"I just can’t help it.† I was still terrified, still suffocating in the magic surrounding me. Somehow, I managed to echo my earlier conversation with Eddie. â€Å"You can take control of yourself,† I said. â€Å"You aren’t a victim.† Adrian had been gazing off, troubled by his thoughts. He suddenly jerked his gaze back to me. â€Å"Just like Rose.† â€Å"What?† Adrian held out his hand, and a thorny red rose suddenly materialized there. I gasped and tried to back up farther. He twirled the stem around, careful not to prick his fingers. â€Å"She said that. That I was playing the victim. Am I really that pathetic?† The rose wilted and crumpled before my eyes, turning to dust and then vanishing altogether. I made the sign against evil on my shoulder and tried to remember what we were talking about. â€Å"Pathetic’s not the word I’d use,† I said. â€Å"What word would you use?† My mind was blanking. â€Å"I don’t know. Confused?† He smiled. â€Å"That’s an understatement.† â€Å"I’ll check a dictionary when I wake up and get back to you. Can you please end this?† The smile faded to an expression of amazement. â€Å"You really are that scared, aren’t you?† I let my silence answer for me. â€Å"Okay, one more thing, then. I thought of another way I can get out of Clarence’s and get some money. I was reading about college and financial aid. If I took classes somewhere, do you think I could get enough to live on?† This was a concrete question I could deal with. â€Å"It’s possible. But I think it’s too late. Classes have started everywhere.† â€Å"I found a place on the internet. Carlton. A college on the other side of town that hasn’t started yet. But I’d still have to act fast, and†¦ that’s what I don’t know how to do. The paperwork. The procedures. But that’s your specialty, right?† â€Å"Sad but true,† I said. Some part of me thought Carlton sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it. He took a deep breath. â€Å"Will you help me? I know it’s making you babysit again, but I don’t know where to start. I promise I’ll meet you halfway, though. Tell me what I need to do, and I will.† Babysit. He’d been talking to Jill or Eddie or both. That was reasonable, though. He’d want to know that she was okay. I could only imagine how my tirade had been paraphrased. â€Å"You were in college before,† I said, recalling his record. I’d scoured it when putting together the ill-fated resume. â€Å"You dropped out.† Adrian nodded. â€Å"I did.† â€Å"How do I know you won’t this time? How do I know you aren’t just wasting my time again?† â€Å"You don’t know, Sage,† he admitted. â€Å"And I don’t blame you. All I can ask is that you give me another chance. That you try to believe me when I say I’ll follow through. That you believe I’m serious. That you trust me.† Long moments stretched out between us. I’d relaxed slightly, without even realizing it, though I remained up against the wall. I studied him, wishing I was better at reading people. His eyes were that green in real life, I decided. I just usually didn’t look at them so closely. â€Å"Okay,† I said. â€Å"I trust you.† Total shock filled his features. â€Å"You do?† I was no better at reading people than I had been ten seconds ago, but in that moment, I suddenly gained a flash of understanding into the mystery that was Adrian Ivashkov. People didn’t believe in him very often. They had low expectations of him, so he did as well. Even Eddie had sort of written him off: He’s Adrian. As though there was nothing to be done for it. I also suddenly realized that, as unlikely as it seemed, Adrian and I had a lot in common. Both of us were constantly boxed in by others’ expectations. It didn’t matter that people expected everything of me and nothing of him. We were still the same, both of us constantly trying to break out of the lines that others had defined for us and be our own person. Adrian Ivashkov – flippant, vampire party boy – was more like me than anyone else I knew. The thought was so startling that I couldn’t even answer him right away. â€Å"I do,† I said at last. â€Å"I’ll help you.† I shivered. The fear of the dream returned, and I just wanted this to be over. I would’ve agreed to anything to be back in my non-magical bed. â€Å"But not here. Please – will you send me back? Or end this? Or whatever it is?† He nodded slowly, still looking stunned. The room began to fade, its colors and lines melting like a painting left in the rain. Soon, all dimmed to black, and I found myself waking up in my dorm room bed. As I did, I just barely caught the sound of his voice in my mind: Thank you, Sage. How to cite Bloodlines Chapter Eighteen, Essay examples

Bloodlines Chapter Eighteen Free Essays

â€Å"WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘MISSING’?† I asked. â€Å"She was supposed to meet us a couple hours ago,† Eddie said, exchanging glances with Micah. â€Å"I thought maybe she was with you. We will write a custom essay sample on Bloodlines Chapter Eighteen or any similar topic only for you Order Now † â€Å"I haven’t seen her since PE.† I was trying hard not to kick into panic mode yet. There were too many variables at play and not enough evidence to start thinking crazy Moroi dissidents had kidnapped her. â€Å"This is a really big place – I mean, three campuses. Are you sure she isn’t just holed up studying somewhere?† â€Å"We’ve done a pretty exhaustive search,† said the security officer. â€Å"And teachers and workers are on alert looking for her. No sightings yet.† â€Å"And she isn’t answering her cell phone,† added Eddie. I finally let true fear overtake me, and my face must have shown it. The officer’s expression softened. â€Å"Don’t worry. I’m sure she’ll turn up.† It was the kind of conciliatory thing people in his profession had to say to family members. â€Å"But do you have any other ideas of where she might be?† â€Å"What about your other brothers?† asked Micah. I’d been afraid it would come to that. I was almost one hundred percent sure she wasn’t with Keith, but he should still probably be notified about her disappearance. It wasn’t something I looked forward to because I knew there’d be a lecture in it for me. It would also be a sign of my failure in the eyes of other Alchemists. I should have stayed by Jill’s side. That was my job, right? Instead, I’d – foolishly – been helping someone run errands. Not just anyone – a vampire. That’s how the Alchemists would see it. Vamp lover. â€Å"I was just with Adrian,† I said slowly. â€Å"I suppose she could’ve somehow gotten to Clarence’s and waited for him. I didn’t actually go inside.† â€Å"I tried Adrian too,† said Eddie. â€Å"No answer.† â€Å"Sorry,† I said. â€Å"We were doing his interviews, so he must have turned his phone off. Do you want to try him again?† I certainly didn’t want to. Eddie stepped aside to call Adrian while I talked with Mrs. Weathers and the officer. Micah paced around, looking worried, and I felt guilty for always wanting to keep him from Jill. The race thing was a problem, but he really did care about her. I told the officer all the places Jill liked to frequent on campus. They confirmed that they’d already checked them all. â€Å"You got ahold of him?† I asked when Eddie returned. He nodded. â€Å"She’s not there. I feel kind of bad, though. He’s pretty worried now. Maybe we should’ve waited to tell him.† â€Å"No†¦ actually, it might be a good thing.† I met Eddie’s eyes and saw a spark of understanding. Adrian’s emotions seemed to intrude on Jill when they were running strong. If he was panicked enough, she’d hopefully realize people were concerned and show back up. That was assuming she was just hiding out or had gone somewhere we couldn’t find. I tried not to consider the alternative: that something had happened where she couldn’t contact us. â€Å"Sometimes students just sneak off,† said the officer. â€Å"It’s inevitable. Usually they try to sneak back in before curfew. Hopefully that’s just the case now. If she doesn’t show up then – well, then we’ll call the police.† He walked off to radio the rest of security for a status check, and we thanked him for his help. Mrs. Weathers returned to the front desk, but it was clear she was worried and agitated. She came across as gruff sometimes, but I had the feeling she actually cared about her students. Micah left us to find a few friends of his who worked on campus, in case they’d seen anything. That left Eddie and me. Without conferring, we turned toward some chairs in the lobby. Like me, I think he wanted to stake out the door in order to see Jill the instant she showed up. â€Å"I shouldn’t have left her,† he said. â€Å"You had to,† I said reasonably. â€Å"You can’t be with her in classes or her room.† â€Å"This place was a bad idea. It’s too big. Too hard to secure.† He sighed. â€Å"I can’t believe this.† â€Å"No†¦ it was a good idea. Jill needs some semblance of a normal life. You could’ve locked her in a room somewhere and cut her off from all interaction, but what good would that do? She needs to go to school and be with people.† â€Å"She hasn’t done much of that, though.† â€Å"No,† I admitted. â€Å"She’s had a rough time with it. I kept hoping it’d get better.† â€Å"I just wanted her to be happy.† â€Å"Me too.† I straightened up as something alarming hit me. â€Å"You don’t think†¦ you don’t think she would’ve run away and gone back to her mom, do you? Or Court or somewhere?† His face grew even more bleak. â€Å"I hope not. Do you think things have been that bad?† I thought about our fight after the shower incident. â€Å"I don’t know. Maybe.† Eddie buried his face in his hands. â€Å"I can’t believe this,† he repeated. â€Å"I failed.† When it came to Jill, Eddie was usually all fierceness and anger. I’d never seen him so close to depression. I’d been living with the fear of my own failure since coming to Palm Springs but only now realized that Eddie had just as much on the line. I recalled Adrian’s words about Eddie and his friend Mason, how Eddie felt responsible. If Jill didn’t come back, would this be history repeating itself? Would she be someone else he’d lost? I’d thought this mission might be redemption for him. Instead, it could turn into Mason all over again. â€Å"You didn’t fail,† I said. â€Å"You’ve been in charge of protecting her, and you’ve done that. You can’t control her happiness. If anything, I’m to blame. I gave her a lecture for the shower incident.† â€Å"Yeah, but I destroyed her hopes when I told her the modeling idea Lee had wouldn’t work.† â€Å"But you were right about – Lee!† I gasped. â€Å"That’s it. That’s where she is. She’s with Lee, I’m certain of it. Do you have his number?† Eddie groaned. â€Å"I’m such an idiot,† he said, taking out his cell phone and scanning for the number. â€Å"I should’ve thought of that.† I touched the cross around my neck, saying a silent prayer that this would all be solved easily. As long as it meant Jill was alive and well, I could’ve handled her and Lee eloping. â€Å"Hey, Lee? It’s Eddie. Is Jill with you?† There was a pause as Lee responded. Eddie’s body language answered the question before I heard another word. His posture relaxed, and relief flooded his features. â€Å"Okay,† said Eddie a few moments later. â€Å"Well, get her back here. Now. Everyone’s looking for her.† Another pause. Eddie’s face hardened. â€Å"We can talk about that later.† He disconnected and turned to me. â€Å"She’s okay.† â€Å"Thank God,† I breathed. I stood up, only then realizing how tense I’d been. â€Å"I’ll be right back.† I found Mrs. Weathers and the security officer and relayed the news. The officer immediately spread the word to his colleagues and soon left. To my surprise, Mrs. Weathers almost looked like she was on the verge of tears. â€Å"Are you okay?† I asked. â€Å"Yes, yes.† She turned flustered, embarrassed at being so emotional. â€Å"I was just so worried. I – I didn’t want to say anything and scare you all, but every time a student’s missing†¦ well, a few years ago, another girl disappeared. We thought she’d just sneaked off – like Matt said, it happens. But it turned out†¦Ã¢â‚¬  Mrs. Weathers grimaced and looked away. â€Å"I shouldn’t be telling you this.† As if she could stop with that kind of intro. â€Å"No, please. Tell me.† She sighed. â€Å"The police found her a couple days later – dead. She’d been abducted and killed. It was terrible, and they never caught her killer. Now I just think of that whenever someone disappears. It’s never happened again, of course. But something like that scars you.† I could imagine so. And as I returned to Eddie, I thought about him and Mason again. It seemed like everyone was carrying baggage from past events. I certainly was. Now that Jill’s safety wasn’t a concern, all I kept thinking was: What will the Alchemists say? What will my father say? Eddie was just hanging up his phone again when I approached. â€Å"I called Micah to tell him everything’s okay,† he explained. â€Å"He was really worried.† All signs of Mrs. Weathers’s past trauma vanished the instant that Jill and Lee walked through the door. Jill actually looked upbeat until she saw all of our faces. She came to a halt. Beside her, Lee already looked grim. I think he knew what was coming. Eddie and I hurried forward but didn’t have a chance to speak right away. Mrs. Weathers immediately demanded to know where they’d been. Rather than cover it up, Jill confessed and told the truth: she and Lee had gone off campus, into Palm Springs. She was careful to make sure Lee didn’t get accused of any kidnapping charges, swearing he didn’t know she could only leave with approved family members. I confirmed this – though Lee was hardly off the hook in my opinion. â€Å"Will you wait outside?† I asked him politely. â€Å"I’d like to speak to you privately later.† Lee started to obey, flashing Jill a look of apology. He lightly brushed her hand in farewell and turned away. It was Mrs. Weathers who stopped him. â€Å"Wait,† she said, peering at him curiously. â€Å"Do I know you?† Lee looked startled. â€Å"I don’t think so. I’ve never been here before.† â€Å"There’s something familiar about you,† she insisted. Her frown deepened a few moments more. At last, she shrugged. â€Å"It can’t be. I must be mistaken.† Lee nodded, met Jill’s eyes in sympathy again, and left. Mrs. Weathers wasn’t done with Jill. She launched into a lecture about how dangerous and irresponsible they’d been. â€Å"If you were going to sneak off and break rules, you could’ve at least confided in your siblings. They’ve been scared to death for you.† It was almost funny, her advising on â€Å"responsible† rule-breaking. Considering how panicked I’d been, I couldn’t find anything amusing just then. She also told Jill that she’d be written up and punished. â€Å"For now,† said Mrs. Weathers, â€Å"you are confined to your room for the rest of the night. Come see me after breakfast, and we’ll find out if the principal thinks this warrants suspension.† â€Å"Excuse me,† said Eddie. â€Å"Can we have a few minutes alone here with her before she goes upstairs? I’d like to talk to her.† Mrs. Weathers hesitated, apparently wanting Jill’s punishment immediately enforced. Then she gave Eddie a double take. The look on his face was hard and angry, and I think Mrs. Weathers knew there was punishment of a different sort coming from Jill’s big brother. â€Å"Five minutes,† said Mrs. Weathers, tapping her watch. â€Å"Then up you go.† â€Å"Don’t,† said Jill, the instant we were alone. Her face was a mixture of fear and defiance. â€Å"I know what I did was wrong. I don’t need a lecture from you guys.† â€Å"Don’t you?† I asked. â€Å"Because if you knew it was wrong, you wouldn’t have done it!† Jill crossed her arms over her chest. â€Å"I had to get out of here. On my own terms. And not with you guys.† The comment rolled right off of me. It sounded young and petty. But to my surprise, Eddie actually looked hurt. â€Å"What’s that supposed to mean?† he asked. â€Å"It means that I just wanted to be away from this place without you always telling me what I’m doing wrong.† That was directed to me. â€Å"And you jumping at every shadow.† That, of course, was to Eddie. â€Å"I just want to protect you,† he said, looking hurt. â€Å"I’m not trying to smother you, but I can’t have anything happen to you. Not again.† â€Å"I’m in more danger from Laurel than any assassins!† Jill exclaimed. â€Å"Do you know what she did today? We were working in the computer lab, and she ‘accidentally’ tripped over my power cord. I lost half my work and didn’t finish in time, so now I’m going to get a lower grade.† A lesson on backing up work probably wouldn’t be useful just then. â€Å"Look, that’s really terrible,† I said. â€Å"But it’s not in the same category as getting yourself killed. Not by a long shot. Where exactly did you go?† For a moment, she looked as though she wasn’t going to give up the info. Finally, she said, â€Å"Lee took me to Salton Sea.† Seeing our blank looks, she added, â€Å"It’s a lake outside of town. It was wonderful.† An almost-dreamy expression crossed her features. â€Å"I haven’t been around that much water in so long. Then we went downtown and just walked around, shopping and eating ice cream. He took me to that boutique, with the designer who’s looking for models and – â€Å" â€Å"Jill,† I interrupted. â€Å"I don’t care how awesome your day was. You scared us. Don’t you get that?† â€Å"Lee shouldn’t have done this,† growled Eddie. â€Å"Don’t blame him,† said Jill. â€Å"I talked him into it – I made him think you guys wouldn’t mind. And he doesn’t know the real reason I’m here or the danger.† â€Å"Maybe dating was a bad idea,† I muttered. â€Å"Lee’s the best thing that’s happened to me here!† she said angrily. â€Å"I deserve to be able to go out and have fun like you guys.† ‘†Fun’? That’s kind of an exaggeration,† I said, recalling my afternoon with Adrian. Jill needed a target for her frustration, and I won the honor. â€Å"Doesn’t seem like it to me. You’re always gone. And when you aren’t, you just tell me what I’m doing wrong. It’s like you’re my mom.† I’d been wading through all of this calmly, but suddenly, something about that comment made me snap. My finely tuned control shattered. â€Å"You know what? I kind of feel that way too. Because as far as I can tell, I am the only one in this group behaving like an adult. You think I’m out there having fun? All I’m doing is babysitting you guys and cleaning up your messes. I spent my afternoon – wasted my afternoon – driving Adrian around so that he could blow off the interviews that I set up. Then I get here and have to deal with the aftermath of your ‘field trip.’ I get that Laurel’s a pain – although maybe if Micah had been warned off from the beginning, these problems with her never would’ve happened.† I directed that last comment at Eddie. â€Å"I don’t get why I’m the only one who sees how serious everything is. Vampire-human dating. Your lives on the line. These aren’t the kinds of things you can screw around with! And yet†¦ somehow, you all still do. You leave me to do the hard stuff, to pick up after you†¦ and all the while, I’ve got Keith and the other Alchemists breathing down my neck, waiting for me to screw up because no one trusts me since helping your pal Rose. You think this is fun? You want to live my life? Then do it. Step right up, and you start taking responsibility for a change.† I hadn’t yelled, but my volume had certainly gone up. I’d pretty much delivered my speech without taking a breath and now paused for some oxygen. Eddie and Jill stared at me, wide-eyed, as though they didn’t recognize me. Mrs. Weathers returned to us just then. â€Å"That’s enough for tonight. You need to go upstairs now,† she told Jill. Jill nodded, still a little stunned, and hurried away without saying goodbye to any of us. Mrs. Weathers walked her to the stairs, and Eddie turned to me. His face was pale and solemn. â€Å"You’re right,† he said. â€Å"I haven’t been pulling my share.† I sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted. â€Å"You’re not as bad as they are.† He shook his head. â€Å"Still. You might be right about Micah. Maybe he’ll keep some distance if I talk to him, and then Laurel will lay off Jill. I’ll ask him tonight. But†¦Ã¢â‚¬  He frowned, choosing his words carefully. â€Å"Try not to be too hard on Adrian and Jill. This is stressful for her, and sometimes I think a little of Adrian’s personality is leaking into her through the bond. I’m sure that’s why she ran off today. It’s something he’d do in her situation.† â€Å"No one forced her to do it,† I said. â€Å"Least of all Adrian. The fact that she coaxed Lee and didn’t tell us shows that she knew it was wrong. That’s free will. And Adrian has no such excuses.† â€Å"Yeah†¦ but he’s Adrian,† said Eddie lamely. â€Å"Sometimes I don’t know how much of what he does is him and how much is spirit.† â€Å"Spirit users can take antidepressants, can’t they? If he’s worried about it becoming a problem, then he needs to step up and take charge. He has a choice. He’s not helpless. There are no victims here.† Eddie studied me for several seconds. â€Å"And I thought I had a harsh view on life.† â€Å"You have a harsh life,† I corrected. â€Å"But yours is built around the idea that you always have to take care of other people. I was raised to believe that’s necessary sometimes but that everyone still needs to try to take care of themselves.† â€Å"And yet here you are.† â€Å"Tell me about it. You want to come talk to Lee with me?† All apology vanished from Eddie’s face. â€Å"Yes,† he said fiercely. We found Lee sitting on a bench outside, looking miserable. He jumped up when we approached. â€Å"You guys, I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have done it. She just sounded so sad and so lost that I wanted to – â€Å" â€Å"You know how protective we are of her,† I said. â€Å"How could you have not thought that this would worry us?† â€Å"And she’s a minor,† said Eddie. â€Å"You can’t just take her away and do whatever you want with her!† I admit, I was a little surprised that the threat to Jill’s virtue was what he chose to bring up. Don’t get me wrong – I was also conscious of her age. But after he saw her literally die, it seemed like Eddie would be worried about more than making out. Lee’s gray eyes went wide. â€Å"Nothing happened! I would never do anything like that to her. I promise! I’d never take advantage of someone so trusting. I can’t ruin this. She means more to me than any other girl I’ve dated. I want us to be together forever.† I thought being â€Å"together forever† was extreme at their ages, but there was a sincerity in his eyes that was touching. It still didn’t excuse what he’d done. He took our lecturing seriously and promised there would never be a repeat. â€Å"But please†¦ can I still see her when you’re around? Can we still do group things?† Eddie and I exchanged glances. â€Å"If she’s even allowed to leave campus after this,† I said. â€Å"I really don’t know what’s going to happen.† Lee left after a few more apologies, and Eddie also returned to his dorm. I was walking upstairs when my phone rang. Glancing down, I was startled to see my parents’ number in Salt Lake City on the caller ID. â€Å"Hello?† I asked. For a frantic moment, I hoped it was Zoe. â€Å"Sydney.† My father. My stomach filled with dread. â€Å"We need to talk about what’s happened.† Panic shot through me. How had he found out about Jill’s disappearance already? Keith jumped out as the obvious culprit. But how had Keith found out? Had he been at Clarence’s when Eddie called Adrian? Despite his flaws, I couldn’t imagine Adrian telling Keith what had happened. â€Å"Talk about what?† I asked, playing for time. â€Å"Your behavior. Keith called me last night, and I must say, I’m very disappointed.† â€Å"Last night?† This wasn’t about Jill’s disappearance. So what was it about? â€Å"You’re supposed to be coordinating efforts for that Moroi girl to blend in. You aren’t supposed to be out socializing with them and having a good time! I could hardly believe it when Keith said you took them out bowling.† â€Å"It was mini-golf, and Keith okayed it! I asked him first.† â€Å"And then I hear you’re helping all these other vampires run errands and whatnot. Your duty is only to the girl, and that is to do only what’s necessary for her survival – which I also hear you aren’t doing. Keith tells me there was an incident where you didn’t properly handle her difficulties in the sun?† â€Å"I reported that immediately!† I cried. I’d known Keith was planning to use that against me. â€Å"Keith – † I paused, thinking about the best way to handle this. â€Å"Misunderstood my initial report.† Keith had blown off my initial report, but telling my father his protege had lied would just put my father’s defenses up. He wouldn’t believe me. â€Å"And Keith’s one to talk! He’s always hanging out with Clarence and won’t say why.† â€Å"Probably to make sure he remains stable. I understand the old man isn’t all there.† â€Å"He’s obsessed with vampire hunters,† I explained. â€Å"He thinks there are humans out there that killed his niece.† â€Å"Well,† said my father, â€Å"there are some humans out there who catch on to the vampire world, those whom we can’t dissuade. Hardly hunters. Keith’s doing his duty by enlightening Clarence. You, however, are misguided.† â€Å"That’s not a fair comparison!† â€Å"Honestly, I blame myself,† he said. Somehow I doubted that. â€Å"I shouldn’t have let you go. You weren’t ready – not after what you went through. Being with these vampires is confusing you. That’s why I’m recalling you.† â€Å"What?† â€Å"If I had my way, it’d be right now. Unfortunately, Zoe won’t be ready for another two weeks. The Alchemists want her to undergo some testing before she gets her tattoo. Once she does, we’ll send her in your place and get you†¦ some help.† â€Å"Dad! This is crazy. I’m doing fine here. Please, don’t send Zoe – â€Å" â€Å"I’m sorry, Sydney,† he said. â€Å"You’ve left me no choice. Please don’t get into trouble in your remaining time.† He disconnected, and I stood in the hall, my heart sinking. Two weeks! Two weeks and they were sending Zoe. And me†¦ where were they sending me? I didn’t want to think about it, but I knew. I needed to stop this from happening. Wheels were already in motion. The tattoos, I suddenly thought. If I could finish my tests on the stolen substances and find out info about the blood supplier, I would earn the Alchemists’ regard – hopefully enough to take away the taint that Keith had put on me. And why had he done it? Why now? I knew he’d never wanted me along. Maybe he had just been biding his time, building up evidence against me until he could get me ousted in one fell swoop. I wouldn’t let him, though. I’d bust open this tattoo case and prove who the stellar Alchemist was. I had enough evidence now to get their attention and would simply turn in what I had if nothing new came to light within a week. The decision filled me with resolve, but I still had trouble sleeping when I went to bed later. My father’s threat hung over me, as did my fear of the reeducation centers. After about an hour of tossing and turning I finally dozed off. But even that was fitful and troubled. I woke up after only a few hours and then had to fall asleep all over again. This time, I dreamed. In the dream, I stood in Clarence’s living room. Everything was neat and in place, the dark wood and antique furniture giving the space its usual ominous feel. The details were surprisingly vivid, and it was like I could even smell the dusty books and leather on the furniture. â€Å"Huh. It worked. Wasn’t sure if it would with a human.† I spun around and found Adrian leaning against the wall. He hadn’t been there a moment ago, and I had a flash of that childhood fear of vampires appearing out of nowhere. Then I remembered this was a dream, and these kinds of things happened. â€Å"What weren’t you sure about?† I asked. He gestured around him. â€Å"If I could reach you. Bring you here into this dream.† I didn’t quite follow what he meant and said nothing. He arched an eyebrow. â€Å"You don’t know, do you? Where you are?† â€Å"At Clarence’s,† I said reasonably. â€Å"Well, in reality I’m asleep in my bed. This is just a dream.† â€Å"You’re half right,† he said. â€Å"This is a spirit dream. This is real.† I frowned. A spirit dream. Since most of our information about spirit was sketchy, we had hardly anything on spirit dreams. I’d learned most of what I knew about them from Rose, who had been frequently visited by Adrian in them. According to her, the dreamer and the spirit user were actually together, in a meeting of the minds, communicating across long distances. It was hard for me to fully grasp that, but I’d seen Rose wake up with information she wouldn’t have otherwise had. Still, I had no evidence to suggest I was really in a spirit dream now. â€Å"This is just a regular dream,† I countered. â€Å"Are you sure?† he asked. â€Å"Look around. Concentrate. Doesn’t it feel different? Like a dream†¦ but not like a dream. Not quite like real life either. Call it what you want, but the next time we see each other in the waking world, I’ll be able to tell you exactly what happened here.† I looked around the room, studying it as he’d suggested. Again, I was struck by the vividness of even the smallest details. It certainly felt real, but dreams often did†¦ right? You usually never knew you were dreaming until you woke up. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to still my mind. And like that, I felt it. I understood what he meant. Not quite like a dream. Not quite like real life. My eyes flew open. â€Å"Stop it,† I cried, backing away from him. â€Å"Make it end. Get me out of here.† Because in accepting that this really was a spirit dream, I’d had to acknowledge something else: I was surrounded in vampire magic. My mind was ensnared in it. I felt claustrophobic. The magic was pressing on me, crushing the air. â€Å"Please.† My voice grew more and more frantic. â€Å"Please let me go.† Adrian straightened up, looking surprised. â€Å"Whoa, Sage. Calm down. You’re okay.† â€Å"No. I’m not. I don’t want this. I don’t want the magic touching me.† â€Å"It won’t hurt you,† he said. â€Å"It’s nothing.† â€Å"It’s wrong,† I whispered. â€Å"Adrian, stop it.† He reached out a hand, like he might try to comfort me, and then thought better of it. â€Å"It won’t hurt you,† he repeated. â€Å"Just hear me out, and then I’ll dissolve it. I promise.† Even in the dream, my pulse was racing. I wrapped my arms around myself and backed up against the wall, trying to make myself small. â€Å"Okay,† I whispered. â€Å"Hurry.† â€Å"I just wanted to say†¦Ã¢â‚¬  He stuffed his hands in his pockets and glanced away uncomfortably before looking at me again. Were his eyes greener here than in real life? Or was it just my imagination? â€Å"I wanted to†¦ I wanted to apologize.† â€Å"For what?† I asked. I couldn’t process anything beyond my own terror. â€Å"For what I did. You were right. I wasted your time and your work today.† I forced my mind to dredge up memories from this afternoon. â€Å"Thank you,† I said simply. â€Å"I don’t know why I do these things,† he added. â€Å"I just can’t help it.† I was still terrified, still suffocating in the magic surrounding me. Somehow, I managed to echo my earlier conversation with Eddie. â€Å"You can take control of yourself,† I said. â€Å"You aren’t a victim.† Adrian had been gazing off, troubled by his thoughts. He suddenly jerked his gaze back to me. â€Å"Just like Rose.† â€Å"What?† Adrian held out his hand, and a thorny red rose suddenly materialized there. I gasped and tried to back up farther. He twirled the stem around, careful not to prick his fingers. â€Å"She said that. That I was playing the victim. Am I really that pathetic?† The rose wilted and crumpled before my eyes, turning to dust and then vanishing altogether. I made the sign against evil on my shoulder and tried to remember what we were talking about. â€Å"Pathetic’s not the word I’d use,† I said. â€Å"What word would you use?† My mind was blanking. â€Å"I don’t know. Confused?† He smiled. â€Å"That’s an understatement.† â€Å"I’ll check a dictionary when I wake up and get back to you. Can you please end this?† The smile faded to an expression of amazement. â€Å"You really are that scared, aren’t you?† I let my silence answer for me. â€Å"Okay, one more thing, then. I thought of another way I can get out of Clarence’s and get some money. I was reading about college and financial aid. If I took classes somewhere, do you think I could get enough to live on?† This was a concrete question I could deal with. â€Å"It’s possible. But I think it’s too late. Classes have started everywhere.† â€Å"I found a place on the internet. Carlton. A college on the other side of town that hasn’t started yet. But I’d still have to act fast, and†¦ that’s what I don’t know how to do. The paperwork. The procedures. But that’s your specialty, right?† â€Å"Sad but true,† I said. Some part of me thought Carlton sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it. He took a deep breath. â€Å"Will you help me? I know it’s making you babysit again, but I don’t know where to start. I promise I’ll meet you halfway, though. Tell me what I need to do, and I will.† Babysit. He’d been talking to Jill or Eddie or both. That was reasonable, though. He’d want to know that she was okay. I could only imagine how my tirade had been paraphrased. â€Å"You were in college before,† I said, recalling his record. I’d scoured it when putting together the ill-fated resume. â€Å"You dropped out.† Adrian nodded. â€Å"I did.† â€Å"How do I know you won’t this time? How do I know you aren’t just wasting my time again?† â€Å"You don’t know, Sage,† he admitted. â€Å"And I don’t blame you. All I can ask is that you give me another chance. That you try to believe me when I say I’ll follow through. That you believe I’m serious. That you trust me.† Long moments stretched out between us. I’d relaxed slightly, without even realizing it, though I remained up against the wall. I studied him, wishing I was better at reading people. His eyes were that green in real life, I decided. I just usually didn’t look at them so closely. â€Å"Okay,† I said. â€Å"I trust you.† Total shock filled his features. â€Å"You do?† I was no better at reading people than I had been ten seconds ago, but in that moment, I suddenly gained a flash of understanding into the mystery that was Adrian Ivashkov. People didn’t believe in him very often. They had low expectations of him, so he did as well. Even Eddie had sort of written him off: He’s Adrian. As though there was nothing to be done for it. I also suddenly realized that, as unlikely as it seemed, Adrian and I had a lot in common. Both of us were constantly boxed in by others’ expectations. It didn’t matter that people expected everything of me and nothing of him. We were still the same, both of us constantly trying to break out of the lines that others had defined for us and be our own person. Adrian Ivashkov – flippant, vampire party boy – was more like me than anyone else I knew. The thought was so startling that I couldn’t even answer him right away. â€Å"I do,† I said at last. â€Å"I’ll help you.† I shivered. The fear of the dream returned, and I just wanted this to be over. I would’ve agreed to anything to be back in my non-magical bed. â€Å"But not here. Please – will you send me back? Or end this? Or whatever it is?† He nodded slowly, still looking stunned. The room began to fade, its colors and lines melting like a painting left in the rain. Soon, all dimmed to black, and I found myself waking up in my dorm room bed. As I did, I just barely caught the sound of his voice in my mind: Thank you, Sage. How to cite Bloodlines Chapter Eighteen, Essay examples